WHY IS IT SO HARD TO TALK ABOUT MONEY WITH YOUR SPOUSE?

If you and your spouse are constantly arguing over money, here are some thoughts to consider:

1. How did your family view money while you were growing up? Was money an enemy for your family or a helper? Were rich people “bad” and poor people “good”? How did your spouse grow up thinking about money? How much does their childhood experience differ from yours?

2. What are your personal experiences with money? Have you ever been trapped inside debt? Are you still recovering from financial loss? Depending on your personal experiences with money, you will have strong beliefs/feelings regarding the subject. Sometimes these beliefs will be in direct conflict with your spouse’s, so be aware that these differences will come up.

3. How do you feel when your spouse brings up the subject of money? Does talking about money with your spouse scare or exhaust you? Does it make you feel intimidated or hopeless? Your underlying attitudes about money will come out whenever the subject gets brought up, so work hard to identify the lies you believe about money (like I will never grow in my handling of money) and replace them with truth (like I am powerful and can grow in my finances).

Knowing the answers to each of these questions will help your marriage navigate these sometimes painful discussions around money.

If you need more insight on how to navigate conflict regarding your finances, consider scheduling a Couple’s Financial Sozo.